Today, I wanted to give up.
I am studying performing arts, mainly as a Dance major for first year. I knew this would be a challenge at the beginning of the year... But I took it on.
Im not the strongest dancer in the class, I know that I am not going to be a dancer but it's part of what I want to do, which is perform and therefore I work at it. I spent this whole year putting blood an sweat into dancing and stretching my body to new limits.
I do Modern, tap, jazz and ballet. Ballet being the hardest for me. At the beginning of the year I hated it. I couldnt do it. I couldn't balance or maintain my turnout... But after a few months I started to enjoy it.
At my college you either get to do the international exam or the national exam. Depending on how good you are. My teacher suggested I do the national ballet exam... And for some reason it really got to me. And I cried. And for the first time in my life I questioned the industry I have chosen... I realized that sometimes I'm just not going to be good enough and I'll have to accept that I'm not the best. It was a reality that almost made me want to drop dancing completely and be a musical theatre major only and not a double major...
It would make sense for me to drop it. I mean whats the point of me pushing myself in something I'm obviously not naturally good at. I should stick to what I know: singing... But then I realized... If everyone just stuck with what they were comfortable with, there would be no progress in the world... There would be nothing new, no excitement.
So after various pep talks and hugs I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I may not be the best ballerina, I don't even want to be a Ballerina, but whether I like it or not, ballet is a stepping stone and the foundation I need, to get to where I want to be. Therefore I decided to suck it up. I'm still going to work towards an international exam... One thing about me is that when someone tells me I can't do something, I usually work extra hard to prove them wrong.
That's exactly what you're going through now in grade 10. I remember in grade 9 they suggested that I didn't do physics as my marks weren't good enough. I cried about it... But decided to prove them Wrong... And you know what, there will be times when u feel like kicking yourself for choosing the subject, you'll go through different tutors and study techniques trying to get it into your head.... But it's all going to be worth it... Because by the time u get to Matric, u pass physics (and it's not a government pass either! Bachelors pass girl) ! Which is a lot more than your teachers ever expected you to do. And that, that is the best feeling ever...
Life is going to be filled with situations where u feel like it would be better to just give up. But don't. You don't grow as a Person by running away... You grow by facing challenges head on. For you it's physics, for me it's ballet. There will be more challenges, but you were built strong. You're not weak. You're a survivor. And whatever that thing is you think you can't do.... Ask yourself why not?
If not why not?!
You'll find most times your reason is mainly just cause you're afraid of failing... But without failure there is no progress.
Now go out there and do what they said you couldnt do.
Yours,
19 year old Nadine
No comments:
Post a Comment