Letter 17: Moving forward

Dear 16 Year Old Self,

People coming into your life for many reasons, and being human we fall in love, start trusting people and we give them the opportunity to potentially hurt us. And majority of the people you let into your life will. Human's are unpredictable and at times selfish and we can spend countless hours trying to figure out why people behave the way they do, but unless you've lived their life, been through their trials and tribulations you'll never really understand them.

When you let someone come into your life and get to know them, you enter a scary place, a vulnerable place and the closer they get to you, the bigger chance you have of getting hurt by them. But it's the risk you take with people. You have to decide who you think are worth getting hurt over and invest in those people.

I've been hurt, you're going to get hurt, countless times. You are going to have your trust with the people closest to you broken over and over again. And you're going to go through a phase where you feel like you can't trust anyone else again. You're going to feel bitter about your life, you're going to feel resentment and anger towards those who hurt you and you'll eventually have to decide whether you're going to allow those feelings to control you or if you're going to find a way to work through it.

If I can share any advice with you let it be this, forgive them. Forgive those who have wronged you and hurt you. Not for them. For you. Because if you don't, you allow those who hurt you to control you, to control the way you view life and anyone who hurts you does not deserve that power over you. You can allow such events make you bitter who you can learn from it and let it mould you as a person. Be the bigger person.

Revenge?
Don't waste time on that, because you'll only end up feeling worse. You're an adult when you look the person who hurt you in the eyes and you feel no feelings of hatred or resentment towards them.

I fully believe in second chances. But only second chances. I've broken that rule a million and given people third and fourth chances and you know what it ended up the exact same way every time. If people make the same mistake twice, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice. And if someone chooses to hurt you, they do not deserve to be in your life anymore.

You're going to find yourself on both ends of the story in your life, sometimes you'll get hurt, sometimes you'll do the hurting. Forgiveness is the only way to move forward. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, you're human, you cannot beat yourself up over something you cannot change.

Until next time,
20 Year Old Nadine.