Dear 16 Year Old Self,
As 2016 draws to its slow, inevitable end, I have been thinking about what this year has taught me. It’s a given that majority of people did not entirely enjoy 2016- but the year wasn’t that bad for me. I made a lot of personal life changes and achieved almost 99% of my goals for the year. What did I do different? Well for starters, I made the conscious decision to steer clear from negativity at all costs. A task that I would learn was a lot harder than it sounds.
You might be asking why I chose to do this, well for starters; I realised that if I spend less time being negative and complaining, I’d have more time to be positive and pour my energy into tasks and projects that would benefit my life and goals. It helped me gain a clearer and more detailed image for what I want in my future.
So I thought I’d write you a letter on the ways you can conduct a negativity detox on your life.
- The first thing you have to do, is start with yourself. You are the root of all the negativity in your life. You control what energy you’re allowing into your circle. Start with your thoughts. Try not to have any negative thoughts in your day-to-day life. - I know this is impossible, so my trick is this; whenever I have a negative thought, I try and think two positive thoughts to override it. It will put you in a more positive state of mind and improve your mood as a whole.
- Start removing emotional clutter from your life. Start with your Instagram and Facebook accounts, your ex boyfriends do not need to be on your friends list anymore. Scroll through your feed and see which and who’s posts make you feel bad about yourself and remove them. (You do not have to unfriend them, just click on the options panel of their post and ask to see less from the certain person. No one’s feelings get hurt and you get to scroll your feed without feeling bad or insecure.) You may think this is a silly task but it’s a good one- most of us don’t even consider how social media affects our self worth and mood.
- Poisonous people have a special place in your life: Out of it. This might be hard because you might actually be really good friends with a poisonous person but you have to ask yourself the following questions; Does this person always complain? Does this person change your view on other people? Is this person always in the middle of the drama? Does this person make you feel inadequate by the way they treat you? Does this person only speak to you if they need anything? - If you answered yes to any of the above questions chances are you don’t need them in your life. You don’t have to cause a scene and publicly unfriend them, just start distancing yourself, hang out with other people but be civil and be polite towards the PP (Poisonous person), you’ll start to notice that you’re no longer involved in drama or forced to be someone you’re not. Your self-confidence will also increase by like 100%- **STORY TIME** One of the people I really looked up to in the past, put me down a lot this year and made me doubt my abilities, when they knew very well what their opinion meant to me. This almost crushed me and made me live in fear of moving forward with my life. When I realised what this person was doing (Whether they knew they were doing it or not) I avoided contact at all costs and stopped regarding their opinions so highly. Suddenly the lack of self-confidence and fear disappeared and it was all because that PP was cut out of my life.
- Know your goals. Focus on your goals. And don’t get distracted. People often get sidetracked off their planned course because of trivial matters. At the end of the day what matters is you and your knowledge of your abilities. If you know what you bring to the table, nothing can get in your way- not even a PP!
- Be a nice person. Try to be empathetic to what other people are going through, whether you know about their life or not. Don’t go out of your way to start or get involved with arguments. Compliment people more. Don’t try to get even. Forgive those who have hurt you, even if it’s hard. Remember positivity starts with you, the energy you emit to those around you is the energy you will receive.
Of course I haven’t been able to commit to this path 100% this year, but every time I felt myself stray from it or indulge in negativity, I gave myself a little talking to. It’s a hard thing to do and the people you leave behind may not understand your reasons for doing so, but if they really want you in their lives, they’ll talk to you and find out more about your dedication to being free of negativity.
Just remember, 16 Year Old Me, it starts with you. Once you have envisioned who you want to be, nothing can stop you
I’m going to have a great 2017, I’m positive. (See what I did there!)
Till my next letter.
Yours,
22 Year Old Nadine
