Letter 9: Prepare yourself

Dear 16 year old self,

Prepare yourself. You think high school is hard...? Life after high school is hell.

Don't get me wrong its great to finally be doing what I wanna do and to be going in the direction I wanna be going... But the amount of challenges I've went through this year have broken me down to a point where I didn't even know what was up or down anymore.

Okay maybe everyone else had a good year and that's cool. But I'm preparing you, 16 year old me, because the minute you kiss high school goodbye, your whole world gets turned upside down.

Your year starts off with a break up from your boyfriend of almost 3 years, you're then thrust into a completely new environment with new people and have to learn how to make friends (and I just need to add you're not very good at that, but I'll save that for my next letter), all your high school friends went to UCT so u never see them and are often left out and slowly but surely, your number of friends start to deteriorate.

I'm not going to go in depth regarding the things that went wrong for me this year. That's your future to figure out what I am going to share with you is what I've learned from this year. Because as hard as 2013 was, I came out stronger on the other side because I learned the following:
1. I am my own best friend. You cannot trust anyone to always be there no matter how many times they say they will be... When you're down and under, finding good friends is hard and nearly impossible. People are too consumed in their own problems and lives to notice your cries for help. I learned that I needed to be my own hero. I was the only one who could save me when I was down.
2. Just because something is hard doesn't mean its not worth it. Its actually the opposite. The harder u work for something the more it is worth. There were times I just wanted to give up this year because I felt like I was getting nowhere. You literally have to keep yourself motivated all the time. No one will do it for u.
3. Believe in yourself. Chase your dreams, don't second guess them. You're capable of more than u can imagine.
4. People come into your life for one of two reasons: they're  either a blessing or a lesson. Its figuring out which one is which that's hard.
5. Live a little. Try new things, hang out with new people. Make new friends. Everyone else around u is moving on with life, eventually u have to do the same instead of chasing doomed friendships.
6. Failure is not an option. No matter what, you're going to win. You might get knocked down a few times, but its the fact that u get up that's worth it. Always get up.
7. Appreciate the people who love u enough to tell u when they're mad or hurt. Who are there when you're at your worst. The girl who holds your hair back while u throw up and cry in the bathroom stalls at a club. Do not take them for granted. Good friends are so hard to find.
8. Don't take anything for granted. You don't know what you've got till its gone.

Those are just some of the things this year has taught me. I could go on for days... But I'm falling asleep as I type this. So I guess you'll have to wait a few years and find out for yourself.

Enjoy life while its still simple 16 year old Nadine. Cause in 3 years, you're gana witness a whole new side of crazy. But u know what, you're a survivor. And it takes more than a year full of obstacles to keep u down. Just hold ur head up kid, keep your eye on the prize. You're going to make it.

Yours,
19 year old Nadine.