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Monday 28 July 2014

Letter 16: Pain is temporary

Dear 16 Year Old Self,

In your 19th year of life, you feel the need to get a tattoo. You get your first on your wrist, it says Fearless. Two months pass and you feel that you are ready to get that sentence you've been wanting as a tattoo for as long as you can remember, it says What is meant to be will be, it finds it's place on your hip.

A few days ago, while in the shower I was looking at my tattoos. The one on my wrist wasn't that painful, it was more ticklish than anything else. The one on my hip? That was a motherfucker, excuse my french.  But that's when a little life lesson blossomed upon me: It was painful to get the tattoo, if I had decided that the pain was too much and backed out, I wouldn't have the tattoo today. And now when I look at it, I feel no pain. I remember the pain I went through to get it...But I don't feel it anymore.

That's because pain is temporary. The Lesson, or the impact that pain leaves is permanent.
 I learnt that first hand last year. I went through a rough patch in my life, it was painful and I honestly thought I wouldn't survive... But I got through it...And When I look back at that period of my life now I feel no pain, no sadness and most importantly...No regret. That part of my life, made me the woman I am today. And not to toot my own horn or anything but you grow up to be a strong, independent young woman, who makes mistakes. It sometimes takes me a few times making the same mistake before I learn, but I learn in the end. The thing is, pain always has a reason. Nothing is in vain especially not pain. (Rhyming like a beast)

You know when you get hurt and you start to bleed? That blood usually results in a scab. You can allow that scab to heal and when it is completely healed, the scar left behind is very faint almost invisible. Or you could pick at that scab, open up the wound so many times that eventually you are left with a huge scar. Life is the same, You need to allow yourself time to heal...The more pain you put yourself through, the harder it is to forget. What I've noticed is that a lot of the time our pain is self induced. You need to ask yourself, why you're hurting and can you do anything to stop it? If you can, why don't you?

Don't give anyone else the power the put you through pain, you control who can hurt you. Anyways, I seemed to have diverged. My point is, whatever you're going through, as painful as it may seem, its not going to last forever. And one day, I promise you it's going to be a painless memory, the kind that makes you say, "Damn, look how far I've come since then."

When you're 16 you go through a heartbreak, one of many in your life. It's not the first and it won't be the last...But when I look back at that time in my life, the good memories outshine the bitter ones, the joy over rides the pain. Pain is something that's in the moment, the pain you're feeling now? That's temporary.

So hang in there.

Yours,
20 Year Old Nadine